MINDSET TIPS How to Live in the Moment. 5 Tips to Implement Daily! By: Chat Mills Recently on a trip to Story Land, in New Hampshire, we were waiting in line and my son kept asking me what we were doing for dinner, would we be going back to the condo, would we be getting more time at the pool? I stopped him and said, “Buddy we’re in line for a ride. If you keep worrying about what’s coming next, you’ll miss out on this moment right here.” He did stop. And we enjoyed the antique cars. He drove and we had a blast. But it reminded me of something I often forget in my day to day life. We all wish there was more time in the day or that time would slow down altogether. I spend more time managing everyone else’s schedule and that leaves little time for my own. I know so many parents reading this can relate. While I do run my own business and have the privilege to create my own schedule, I still struggle to set my hours for working out, eating right and getting self care. And although it feels incredibly difficult sometimes, I also know it’s absolutely possible. I’ve used the five tips I’m about to share with you to become more present in my day to day. To focus on what’s happening now and worry less about what happened or might in the future. It all comes down to prioritizing what is important. Five Tips to Implement DailyTip 1: Six for SuccessI spend a lot of time thinking that everything is important. Every appointment, every pick up, every household chore but the reality is some of that can wait AND we as a family, can do it together. I look at all the week has to offer and decide what the most important priorities are. I list every single one out and decide which of these priorities I can handle on my own and where I need support from my family. From there I narrow down which six things that I am going to accomplish in a day. I don't add more than six because I know I'll be overwhelmed otherwise. I also don't add more than six because I know I want to include some time for myself, time for my family, and time to support my husband when he needs a moment to himself. It took me a bit to surrender responsibility to my husband. I like to be in control but if I am going to live in the moment then I have to trust that my family can handle their own responsibilities. So while my husband and I create the lists together, I have since learned that he has his own list and that's his to worry about. I don't need to micromanage him. Doing this helped me realize that not everything is important at the moment and alleviates the pressure of having to do things all on my own. It relieves me of the guilt of having to act like a super mom, and strengthens my partnership with my husband. Tip 2: Focus on one thing at a timeIf you’re anything like me then everything is a top priority and it all needs to get done immediately. I would tackle everything on the to-do list all at once. Start with number 2, move to number 4, then to number 16. I had done a little bit of everything but it still left me feeling very unaccomplished and unproductive at the end of the day. My stress increased because I wasn't feeling that sense of accomplishment. I was irritated and frustrated most days. Focusing on one thing at a time changed the game for me. Since I had pre prioritized my to-do list I focused on the number one task as being the most important at that moment. I didn't move on to any other task until that task was complete and repeated this process until my to do list was completely done. This lowered my stress incredibly, even if I was only able to accomplish two things on my to do list. More importantly, I can look back and see that I had completed two things completely versus looking at 17 tasks that had been partially completed. I could go to bed feeling a sense of accomplishment and not worrying that I still had 17 things to do. Tip 3: Shift your mindsetThis is pretty self-explanatory, but I feel it's important to mention still. You know that your attitude plays a major factor in how you approach anything. Giving up control, asking for help, or any thing that requires you to display humility, can come with feelings that you are not as good/strong/focused as you previously thought. Here's the thing though: Life happens. While I have a prioritized list, if an emergency comes up or an opportunity presents itself to relax and have fun, we stop and do it! After the fact my mindset can either be: 1) why did I go and have fun while I had all this stuff to do? or 2) I'm grateful for the moments I get to spend with my family. I am now feeling refreshed with a break so now I am able now to refocus to finish up some important tasks. I am always going to choose number 2! Living in the moment means I get to stop feeling guilty for having fun, enjoying time with family and friends, and taking care of myself. I stopped worrying about what doesn't get done because I have a strategy to help me be more accomplished. I simply move the unfinished tasks to the next day. Done! I felt like I was winning and that was something I hadn't felt in a long time. Shift your thinking by focusing on the accomplishments and the productivity of the day instead of what’s left to finish. Just because the timeline wasn't perfect doesn't mean that you aren’t accomplished or productive. Tip 4: You MUST (until it's a habit) schedule time for yourselfI know it seems counterintuitive to have to pencil into your schedule time for yourself. The reality is however, that most of our time is spent managing other people's time or working on someone else’s time table. If we do not set aside time for ourselves nobody else will. This doesn't have to be extreme. 2 hours every day might be too much in the beginning. It can be as simple as once the kids go to bed taking a half hour to do your nighttime skin care routine. Or the 15-minutes between meetings you go for a walk. There is a very specific reason that when you're on an airplane that they tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself first. You are no good to anyone burnt out. This also opens up more of an opportunity to live in the moment AND feel accomplished. Tip 5: Communicate your needsI have always felt like I could do it all by myself. I can take care of myself, take care of others, have 78 hours in my day, and am able to manage it all on my own. After getting married, getting a dog, having children, and having a professional career I realized, albeit slowly, that I really needed help. Asking for help can be difficult but it is a skill that everyone needs to master. Initially I just assumed that other people would just know I needed help. They would just be able to just see it. This was very unrealistic but there I was expecting that people would just read my mind. This led to a lot of arguments between my husband and myself, my children and myself, and those who I might reach out to for help. No one is a mind-reader and if you need help then you need to be clear in your expectations so that those who lovingly offer help can do so in a way that ACTUALLY helps and doesn’t add more to your plate. I include everyone in our family on what the to-do list is, what the priorities are, and how we stay organized. We are a much happier household for it. Don't be afraid to tell people what your needs are and how they can help you. When they say it takes a village they really mean it. Lastly...It is so easy to use time as an excuse, but if you want to live more in the present then you have to utilize your time in a way that allows you to balance days between work and play. You have to get comfortable with prioritizing your days, asking for help, saying no to activities that do not serve you, and celebrating your accomplishments versus dwelling on all that didn’t get done. What can you do at this moment to start prioritizing your day? What do you consider to be important? Who is your village that can help you be more accomplished? What can you start doing now for selfcare? We all get the same amount of time daily and we can begin to enjoy this gift of time more, simply by focusing on what’s in front of us at the present moment. We can stop worrying about what hasn’t happened yet so we can enjoy time with friends and family, time for ourselves, and feel that sense of accomplishment right now. Time is a gift so let’s start by enjoying the present for a more fulfilled past and a happier future. And until then,
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After going through a difficult loss, I had lost myself and was putting everyone and everything ahead of myself. I wanted my energy back, to find my passion for the activities I enjoy, to reconnect with my body & my inner athlete. Now that I am on that path, I teach busy people to prioritize their health so they can live a happier, healthier, sustainable lifestyle.
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