MINDSET TIPS Six Steps to put your plan into action!I am an independent consultant with a company called Arbonne. Every week, the team that I am apart of has a business training. This past week another consultant from another team (whom I do not know) was engaging us to think about the word "decided." "Are you decided or are you playing?" Initially I thought, "How ridiculous! If we are on this training then naturally we must be decided." Then she asked another series of questions: Are you committed to why you are doing this? Are you laser focused with your goals? Are you saying "I am going to do this no matter what this takes or are you making excuses for yourself?" Are you watching others achieve their goals and complaining that you aren't? Are you making excuses or are you moving through obstacles? Ugh! How dare she call me out on my terrible attitude and behavior! She doesn't even know me. But there-in lies the problem, right? I do know me. My business aside, in that moment I made a startling realization that while I had convinced myself that I was "decided" I was, in fact, not. 2020 brought on a series of challenges for me that I had never experienced before. I struggled so much I didn't think there would ever be a light at the end of the tunnel. I would vacillate between "I shouldn't be complaining, I am healthy, my family is safe, and I have a job." to "I will never lose this weight, what the hell is anxiety and how do I get rid of it, and oh god, am I an alcoholic?" You know what I am talking about right? That unrelenting feeling of "when is this going to be over and when will things be normal again?" I've never experienced so many nights where my brain just kept going and going in thought. I felt like everything was holding me back - how was I ever going to run a business, help my kids through remote learning, be a good mom/wife, get my body into shape, get a handle on my mental health and find time for myself? Something has to give! Immediately I thought of areas that I could do without. "Well I don't NEED voice lessons. My foot may be broken so no working out, that's an easy one! I'll just have to really scale back how much I'm working (which is already limited) to when the kids are in bed." Shut Up brain, Shut Up!What I didn't know, was that I was struggling with outside factors (that were out of my control) and allowing the fear of others (plus my own, I'll be honest!) to allow me to make excuses for why I shouldn't move forward. My reality became very clear: I was afraid. Period. While I recognize that I want for nothing, I have hopes, dreams, and a vision for my family and career. I am grateful for the many blessing I have. As my family and business grow, our needs change and my vision evolves. I would often find myself looking at my vision board thinking I had no clue how I would achieve these goals and that voice in the back of head, my logical brain, never stopped whispering to me about the possibility that none of what I was working towards would happen. Couple this with stress and anxiety from a global pandemic and I had a pathway of excuses just laid out for the taking! Listening to this woman moved something in me that had been stuck since March 13, 2020. Her story was very similar to the one I have been sharing. Hearing her talk about her mindset shift brought a wave a calm over me. It was wonderful to hear that there were others who were also afraid of being successful, who had the vision but lacked the plan, who recognized that they weren't actually decided. I felt normal and in that moment I needed to know I was normal. She left us with a call to action. "Picture yourself on a beach with your feet in the sand. Draw a line in the sand and look across to the other side of the line. Across that line is your "why," the thing that motivates you to do what it is you do, the reason for everything." I could very clearly see my family on the other side, looking at me. "What is it going to take you to cross that line and join them." And that was it. That was what I needed to hear to move in the direction of progress. You might be thinking how is it that all this time I couldn't see that my family was my motivation. How could I possibly let them down as a mother and wife? It wasn't that I lacked the motivation I just had no plan and I allowed my fear to hold me back. I was afraid if I went for all the things and I failed I would be disappointing my family as well as myself. Everyone will know I couldn't do it and more importantly I will know undoubtedly that I couldn't do it. While our stories are similar, the trainer and I are not the same person. Her motivation was different and her plan of action was something I knew I wouldn't be able to work with my schedule. So I got to thinking and I laid out a plan that works for me. I share it with you in hopes that it provides you a starting point to getting back on course. Create a vision boardI recommend doing two vision boards, one for your career and one with your family. While the two can go hand in hand (your success in your career allows your family to do more) they are going have enough differences where two can be helpful.
I also found that it helps me when I need to set aside time to work. Nothing sucks more than your kids asking you play and you saying, "I can't, I have to work." You feel the guilt of needing to provide and they assume you don't care enough to play, which we know couldn't be further from the truth. So, bring them back to the dream board. Open up a conversation about responsibility and playtime. How you can do both and how you are making their dreams a priority. It has saved so many tears and then when we finally get to sit down and play I am relaxed and we actually have fun. Incorporate Mindset Work EverydayThis is a must and should be top priority. There is always going to be doubt and fear in your life. It isn't always going to come from the voice inside your head and you need a plan to calm the voice down, especially if that voice comes from someone close to you. Separate your feelings from other people's feeling. Stop and ask yourself, "Is this coming from me or does this belong to someone else?"
I highly recommend doing guided meditations, manifestations, practicing gratitude, and positive affirmations. New to this kind of thing? No worries, I got you covered! This is one of my favorite channels on YouTube. It might feel quirky at first but keep an open mind and give it a go! Daily Actions for SuccessI have a list of actions that I need to complete daily to grow my business and keep my family on track. Depending on what you do for work that may already be laid out for you but you can take back some of the control by adding in things like selfcare, playtime, workouts, and TV time. Have that list of daily non-negotiables will help you see how productive you've been and the positivity you get out of it will keep you moving forward!
If you haven't read the book Atomic Habits, by James Clear, I HIGHLY recommend checking it out. He has a lot of great suggestions for creating actionable steps tied to who you are and who you want to become so you can reach your goals, both personal and professional. Find the book here! Time BlockingI can't stress enough how important it is organize your time. It may feel unnatural to schedule time for fun or selfcare but really look at your time and honestly ask if you are making time for the things that you love to do and are you spending time with people who mean something to you? The day can get away from you so quickly and before you know it you're on the third hour of the Today Show listening to the deals and steals debating whether or not you really need an LED light-up pool speaker.
Again, depending on what you do, your time may be allocated for you in many ways. When I was in the classroom I had a very set schedule that had little wiggle room. I would find 5-minutes here to take a deep breath, and 10-minutes there to walk around and stretch and it made a huge difference. Now that my schedule is a lot more flexible I find myself able to build a balance between work, running a house, and relaxing. I know that it takes me a half an hour to run through emails so I give myself 30-minutes to do that. It may not be everyday at 9am but I know that at some point in the day I will have 30 minutes to check emails. So while it may seem silly to build in time to watch TV or take a bath, the alternative is that these things DON'T happen and you feel less accomplished. I know for myself I am far more successful when I have had a little bit of time to unwind throughout the day and I am a far less grumpy mum. Drink Water & Get SleepWater and sleep have incredible health benefits. They are also crucial for our survival. If you're not one, like myself, who drinks a ton of water throughout the day I suggest starting small. Drinking half my body weight in water isn't going to happen yet. I am so used to limiting how much water I drink because I didn't want to have to leave my classroom. I'd have to ask another teacher to watch my room and the next thing you know Tommy has sent a bagel flying out the window into the morning drop off traffic so he can "feed the squirrels." So I started with 16oz daily. I'm now up to 32oz almost daily but I continue to work on consistency.
Once I had a handle on blocking out my time, I had no issue with planning an early bedtime and I didn't have that feeling like all I did was work. There is nothing more defeating than the day flying by, putting the kids to bed, and feeling like you have to choose between going to bed early or watching a rerun of Schitt's Creek. Blocking out your time will help you build in those moments of joy and relaxation so you can go to bed and feel like you fit in something for yourself AND had an accomplished workday. As Alexis Rose would say, "Love that journey for me!" Do Something You LoveAgain, being able to block out time will help you do more of what you love. And when I speak of doing something you love I'm not referring to watching TV or taking a nap. While those options are great, don't get me wrong, I mean doing something that engages your brain and brings you joy. Truth be told, I need to be better about this, but I have found a lot more time to color, read, crochet, sew, have a dance party, and most recently learn to play the guitar! There's no better way, in my humble opinion, to unwind then fitting in the things that make you happiest. Lower your stress, raise your vibration, and feel happiness. And lastly...No matter what your plan looks like, the most important thing is that you HAVE a plan to begin with. Once you have your vision you can work it into your schedule so that you WILL commit to it. No matter what your hopes and dreams are, without that vision, plan, and consistency you won't get out of that comfort zone and you won't make progress. But first, it does come down to making the decision that you are going to go after those goals and dreams.
Make the decision. Draw the line in the sand. Look at your "why" and tell them they are worth fighting for. Look at yourself and tell yourself that YOU are worth fighting for. Create the plan. Release your fear. Enjoy life. And above all else,
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After going through a difficult loss, I had lost myself and was putting everyone and everything ahead of myself. I wanted my energy back, to find my passion for the activities I enjoy, to reconnect with my body & my inner athlete. Now that I am on that path, I teach busy people to prioritize their health so they can live a happier, healthier, sustainable lifestyle.
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