I notice a change is occurring...

MINDSET & STRESS MANAGEMENT

Why it's Important to Address Stress
and How to Manage Your Response

By Chat Mills

I woke up a few nights ago feeling massively uncomfortable. Naturally I sat up at and started googling everything and anything that could possibly give me digestive issues. Forget the fact that I hadn't exactly made the best food choices the day before. That couldn't possibly be it, no, it had to be a bacterial infection, or stomach cancer, or an ulcer. It HAD to be that. From 4 am until about 5:30 am I scrolled the internet to find a solution to my self diagnosed aliments. 

I know how ridiculous all of this sounds. I know that I should know better - I mean, I empower people to reset their health habits by educating them to focus on clean eating, how to get into activity, how to shift their mindset, manage their weight, you get the idea. Here's the thing though, more often than not I spend more of my time focusing on the things that create stress in my life INSTEAD of how to respond to the stress in the first place. And if I am really being honest with myself (which you know I am) I am choosing not to recognize the stress I'm feeling. 

Yes, that's right, I am choosing to ignore the stress.

I have said, "I'm so stressed out!" more times that I can remember and I am someone who considers themselves to be a relatively calm person. I'm a Pisces so give me 10 minutes and I am certain to have forgotten what made me feel so stressed in the first place. However that is different than being fully present in the moment and addressing the stress immediately. And that, my friends is hands down (in my humble opinion) the most important thing to get a handle on if you want to make any other improvements to your health.​

Me, 10 minutes later.

Stress on the Body

Why is it important to address the stress? First let's discuss the roll stress plays on the body. You already know that it's important to deal with stress, but so many of us (me included) choose to just bury it because it's easier than having to face our feelings, than having emotions, than having to accept that we may need help and support to really confront chronic stress.

In my research I came across this article that gave me a concise overview of the effect stress has on the body (it has pictures too, which is right up my alley!). To summarize stress can effect many of the body's systems including respiratory, cardiovascular, digestive, endocrine, central nervous, muscular, reproductive and immune. You can experience mild symptoms such as a headache or heartburn to more serious symptoms like high blood pressure or depression.

It is also important to note that not all stress is bad. When the body feels stress our good ol' fight or flight response is triggered. This process releases hormones in the body that give us what we need to get out of troublesome life situations. However, if this process is continuously firing - more than just at a general survival level - this can, and most likely will, take a serious toll on our over all wellbeing. 

Ugh, now you're feeling more stress because you're recalling all of your most recent stressful moment. Trust me when I say I know this feeling. Anything relating to health has always caused a ridiculous amount of stress for me. When I was in the the 5th grade I had convinced myself I had osteoporosis. This stayed with me for what seemed like forever, despite my father's attempts to assure me that I was far too young to have osteoporosis. I was the only person on my floor in college who brought chewable calcium with them. Later in life I would experience a break up, a change in my living situation, strained relationships within my circle of friends, and a new teaching position that demanded more of me than just the average teacher. Serious chest pain and a visit to the ER later and I had learned that the stress I was under had created a lot of inflammation around the muscles in my collar and breast bones and that if I didn't reduce this stress I could have a heart attack.

I remember staring at the doctor thinking, "I'm only 25 years old!" I've since learned that I can control my response to stress. I can recognize that a change in my body is occurring (and not in a good way) and that allows me to reach into my stress-free toolbox to be proactive instead of reactive. This has helped me relax as quickly as I felt the stress coming. So fear not, there are solutions!

How to Regain Some Control

Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is more irritating than hearing, "Calm down! Relax! Take a breath!" (I write this knowing fully that I have said this to my husband many times. I'm working on it friends, I'm not perfect.) The reality is that when we are feeling stress and others are not, their advice to remain calm makes you want to slap them across the face. Most of the time I go full blow teacher face when I'm told to calm down and now we're in trouble! So here are my top strategies for managing stressful situations.

Walk Away
I remove myself from the situation. I go to my bedroom, the bathroom, anywhere that is not the place where the stress occurs. The change in scenery is enough to stop the stress from increasing and allows me to then observe my surroundings and feelings. It also prevents me from activating "sass mode" and saying something I'll later regret. The key is knowing that I am not running away from the stress, but taking a few moments of reprieve before going back to what caused the stress, which will allow me clarity.

Breathe
Before I re-enter any stressful situation I have to take a moment to breath. See, its different when you tell yourself to take a breath than when someone else tells you to! In all seriousness though, breathing helps relax the body; it sends a message to the brain that we need to relax. It lowers our heart rate and blood pressure. This relaxed state allows for you to clearly observe what you're feeling so you can decide what to do next. 

Check out this article from University of Michigan Health for breathing techniques! 

Observe
Once I've had the chance to separate myself from the situation. I observe what I'm feeling. I know that what I am feeling is causing me to be uncomfortable so my objective is to figure out 1) Am I uncomfortable because I am hearing some truths? or 2) am I letting someone else's stress impact me and causing me to react as if it were actually my stress?  Either way, I am identifying how I am feeling and making a decision that allows me to move forward with the situation with less stress. In this mindset I am able to now advocate for myself and not blame others. I am in control.

Progress Not Perfection

Not everything is going to be perfect and we have to be okay with that. My husband, for as wonderful as he is, has a hard time getting it together when he is stressed. If his schedule is altered in anyway he is going to be stressed. For a while he didn't realize that this was causing him stress and the day would be ruined, for all of us! After a lot of self discovery and work he was able to recognize his stressors and allowed himself the moment to breathe and take control of his feelings. Some days are better than others but the point isn't perfection. As we say in education, we are all lifelong learners and patterns that we have established over time that do not serve us, are going to take time to reset. 
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​There will always be stress. There is nothing we can do to prevent it. We do, however have the choice in how we respond to stress and the role stress plays in our lives. Nothing puts your life into perspective like being told you'll have a heart attack if you don't reduce your stress.

So let's take a moment to review:

Recognize stress to reduce stress
     -----> Do more of what I love (dance, sing, swim)
     -----> Decide what's in my control (is this really mine to worry about?)
     -----> Make adjustment (nighttime routine, earlier bedtime, saying "no" more)

Control my response
     ----> Remove myself from the stress for a moment
     -----> Take a breath
     -----> Assess how I feel
     -----> Repeat if necessary

There was some trial and error on what worked for me but I did find a balance. You do have to work on this practice daily, but the idea is that you're making progress - even a little at a time.

If you're already on your journey to reducing stress and managing your response then I applaud you. I know it can feel like a lot at times and hopefully the strategies here have given you some more tools to work with. If you have other strategies then let us know in the comments! Sharing is caring!

If you need a place to start then check out my Live Calm program --> here

Chronic stress can be really serious. If you are need of professional medical support for stress, anxiety, or depression contact your primary care physician. You can also access this resource for more information on finding additional support.

As always, the steps you take don't have to be big. They just have to lead you in the right direction. Until then,

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P.S. There's more fun waiting!
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